I must jump on the band wagon here I am afraid. Despite my regular refusal to admit to my base South African-ness it is at times of great defeat and victory in the sporting arenas that I must admit that I am far more moved by South African sport than any other.
This said I fear that I too must lend my voice to the cacophony of bitterness that must naturally follow such a dismal performance by Graham and his boys. I have heard the argument from some corners that we were always underdogs and that the Aussies were always going to trump us. Fair enough. However, there is beating and then there is humiliating.
When the two teams faced each other before the super 8's we lost to them but it was a proper game. Good run chase and good cricket. Then there was yesterday!
If the Proteas did not throw that game... Well I can only hope that they did and that they did so for enormous amounts of cash that have been ear-marked to ensure the entire team's offspring's education and futures! Otherwise South African cricket has gone the way of the Zimbabwean democratic process! The parallels between the obviously fault riddled omnipotence of Mogabi and the South African Cricket Selectors board could be drawn by any 12 year old who has ever held a bat in anger for their school or, dare I say it stood in a backyard with his mates, in the sun, playing the make-shift backyard version of the game. I mean who other than the Sri Lankan's would play Nell/Langeveld over Ntini? Where were Rudolph and McKenzie? There are questions a plenty here.
We could spend some time drawing parallels between Pollock's dismal effort four years ago and Smith's attempted captancy. But I will not as I see Pollock's errors 4 years ago as mistakes brought on by poor communications and even worse maths. But Smith's performance yesterday was as I have already said either the result of some intricate match fixing ring or simply the reason why you always look to the older more experienced people for leadership.
I am ending this with the feverant wish that South African sport in general will find its feet and start to be competitive again. I realise that this is perhaps to much to ask on the evidence of yesterday so I have a second wish if the later is not possible for any genies out there to grant me. The second prize is simple. Let me find someway to truly change my allegience - I would be happy to become an English supporter as even though they loose , and perhaps even more frequently than South African sides, at least these loses are honourable and not the result of what I strongly suspect to be dishonourable, suspect financial transactions.
Bring back the days of Hansie - at least then we threw games with some tact and dignity!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Blast from the distant relms of summery Britain
So I have been decidedly bad at updating my blog of late. To anyone out there who is still checking it regularly - if indeed there are any of you out there - I apologise.
So what is news? Simple - Summer! Yes she has hit Britain well and proper now. Things are brighter and lighter. The mood of the populace is decidedly more upbeat again - as it is every summer.
Work is going extremly well. I am moving into the delivery side of the RightNow business. I will be a professional services implementation consultant soon. They are taking some time to get me my offer letter to make it final and formal but it is to be expected in this place. The new job will see me working almost entirely from home and/or customer sites. I will be implementing our software to the customer's specifications - testing - some training - configuration and some enduser look and feel customisations. Hope that anybody reading that understood it and gained some valuable insight out of it as to what I do and why they pay me to do it. I am sure from what you have read above you realise that it is not exactly what you would deem a labour of love.
I have joined up to a social networking web community called facebook. I am quite impressed by it and what it does. I have managed to get in touch with a very old friend from WHPS, Edward Lewis, through the site. Hadn't spoken to him since we were 10 years old. He is living here in London according to his profile and I am hoping to meet up with him soon to cathc up over a beer.
The British summer brings with it many music festivals. This year I am hitting the big one - Glastonbury. Unfortunatly the rantscanting pete has now pulled out of this - generally regarded as the biggest music festival in the world. I have bought a two room, six sleeper tent for the festival and cannot wait the two months until it rolls around.
Also this year sees the tour de france starting in England - so I am really looking forward to watching the prologue as they race through central London. It will certainly be a highlight of my summer along with Glastonbury and hopefully the Foo Fighters. I don't know how I am going to get to see them this year but I am going to make a plan. I saw Bob Dylan last week and am still pinching myself that I have had that priviledge.
Unfortunatly my big plans for the summer have now fallen through. My friend Mat - who is a qualified skipper - has had to pull out of the summer sailing holiday. His withdrawl means that I would need to pay for a skipper to sail the boat - this drives the cost up and makes it impossible for the rest of my mates to join me on the holiday. So alas no sailing the Dalmatian coastline anytime soon.
I spoke to my mom last week and she is trying to get me to come back to SA for Christmas. I am quite set on travelling to new places this year so I am still debating this one... The verdict is still out and I will endevour to keep you all up to date on any changes to this.
What else to tell you?
Not much really - hoping to see Jimbo and Nick over here on holiday in September. Always good to have really good mates around. As always the most valuable lesson a traveller can learn is how much the people you leave behind mean to you. SOB, SOB....
So I am fast drawing toward my third year away from mother Africa. It is scary how fast time slips by - lately it has seemed even faster still. I cannot believe we are almost into May already with June, and the half way mark, just around the corner. So far this year has seemed to shoot past even faster than usual.
Even scarier is the fact that I don't think I am any closer to having any clue about what will make me truely happy and what I really what to do. I am living comfortably doing what I am doing at the moment - got good mates around me and this seems enough for the moment. However, somewhere deep back "there", I am mindful that almost all of my London mates will be heading off to their respective homes and lives in the next year leaving me here in London. Many of them are moving to Australia/New Zealand. I have been there and done that and will not be following them. My course it seems is set for Europe, the states and maybe Dubai. Or at least this is where I am hoping my compass will point - not in that particular order perhaps but that is what I would like to do. As for a return to South Africa. I cannot see myself returning for more than a holiday unless there are huge changes. I would love to move back and live there again with my family and friends around me but I do not see this happening so I am left to wonder the rest of the planet looking for a new place for my coat and hat. England is certainly not that place. Although for now it does offer me all that I need. Cheap, convenient travel - good money and London with her bustle and excitement is always a source of entertainment. To live and work in London is to have the entire world at your feet - you pay for this with the weather - unattractive people - poor dental care and the always present fear of infection from hospitals. But during the summer you forget all of that for 4 months when the sun is out until 10pm and the beer gardens are full of people. The beer gardens are brilliant as you are able to sit out in the mild, unafrican sun and enjoy cold largers ( usually fosters). As the afternoon drags on and the beer count stacks up you also have the added benefit of the people becoming prettier and prettier and with any luck you wake up chewing through your own arm, swearing to yourself that you will never drink again, as you desperatly try to escape the British swamp donkey you have woken up next too without waking her.
With that little gem I leave you and return to my work for the day.
Keep it real all and I hope to see you all soon.
So what is news? Simple - Summer! Yes she has hit Britain well and proper now. Things are brighter and lighter. The mood of the populace is decidedly more upbeat again - as it is every summer.
Work is going extremly well. I am moving into the delivery side of the RightNow business. I will be a professional services implementation consultant soon. They are taking some time to get me my offer letter to make it final and formal but it is to be expected in this place. The new job will see me working almost entirely from home and/or customer sites. I will be implementing our software to the customer's specifications - testing - some training - configuration and some enduser look and feel customisations. Hope that anybody reading that understood it and gained some valuable insight out of it as to what I do and why they pay me to do it. I am sure from what you have read above you realise that it is not exactly what you would deem a labour of love.
I have joined up to a social networking web community called facebook. I am quite impressed by it and what it does. I have managed to get in touch with a very old friend from WHPS, Edward Lewis, through the site. Hadn't spoken to him since we were 10 years old. He is living here in London according to his profile and I am hoping to meet up with him soon to cathc up over a beer.
The British summer brings with it many music festivals. This year I am hitting the big one - Glastonbury. Unfortunatly the rantscanting pete has now pulled out of this - generally regarded as the biggest music festival in the world. I have bought a two room, six sleeper tent for the festival and cannot wait the two months until it rolls around.
Also this year sees the tour de france starting in England - so I am really looking forward to watching the prologue as they race through central London. It will certainly be a highlight of my summer along with Glastonbury and hopefully the Foo Fighters. I don't know how I am going to get to see them this year but I am going to make a plan. I saw Bob Dylan last week and am still pinching myself that I have had that priviledge.
Unfortunatly my big plans for the summer have now fallen through. My friend Mat - who is a qualified skipper - has had to pull out of the summer sailing holiday. His withdrawl means that I would need to pay for a skipper to sail the boat - this drives the cost up and makes it impossible for the rest of my mates to join me on the holiday. So alas no sailing the Dalmatian coastline anytime soon.
I spoke to my mom last week and she is trying to get me to come back to SA for Christmas. I am quite set on travelling to new places this year so I am still debating this one... The verdict is still out and I will endevour to keep you all up to date on any changes to this.
What else to tell you?
Not much really - hoping to see Jimbo and Nick over here on holiday in September. Always good to have really good mates around. As always the most valuable lesson a traveller can learn is how much the people you leave behind mean to you. SOB, SOB....
So I am fast drawing toward my third year away from mother Africa. It is scary how fast time slips by - lately it has seemed even faster still. I cannot believe we are almost into May already with June, and the half way mark, just around the corner. So far this year has seemed to shoot past even faster than usual.
Even scarier is the fact that I don't think I am any closer to having any clue about what will make me truely happy and what I really what to do. I am living comfortably doing what I am doing at the moment - got good mates around me and this seems enough for the moment. However, somewhere deep back "there", I am mindful that almost all of my London mates will be heading off to their respective homes and lives in the next year leaving me here in London. Many of them are moving to Australia/New Zealand. I have been there and done that and will not be following them. My course it seems is set for Europe, the states and maybe Dubai. Or at least this is where I am hoping my compass will point - not in that particular order perhaps but that is what I would like to do. As for a return to South Africa. I cannot see myself returning for more than a holiday unless there are huge changes. I would love to move back and live there again with my family and friends around me but I do not see this happening so I am left to wonder the rest of the planet looking for a new place for my coat and hat. England is certainly not that place. Although for now it does offer me all that I need. Cheap, convenient travel - good money and London with her bustle and excitement is always a source of entertainment. To live and work in London is to have the entire world at your feet - you pay for this with the weather - unattractive people - poor dental care and the always present fear of infection from hospitals. But during the summer you forget all of that for 4 months when the sun is out until 10pm and the beer gardens are full of people. The beer gardens are brilliant as you are able to sit out in the mild, unafrican sun and enjoy cold largers ( usually fosters). As the afternoon drags on and the beer count stacks up you also have the added benefit of the people becoming prettier and prettier and with any luck you wake up chewing through your own arm, swearing to yourself that you will never drink again, as you desperatly try to escape the British swamp donkey you have woken up next too without waking her.
With that little gem I leave you and return to my work for the day.
Keep it real all and I hope to see you all soon.
Friday, April 13, 2007
VAl D'Isere Snowbaording vol 8
And this is how it is done. A nice long ride some good speed down the piste and then the best of the recorded bails from my week in Val D'Isere this winter.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
On My wAY!!!
Honey you been wasting your time! Get it on - go you good thing and this is dincum brilliant aussie rock
Spiderbait - Calypso
Here is something from my time in Australia that I thought I had lost but thanks to youtube I have rediscoverd. Used to enjoy this a lot on channel V during 1996.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
February Stars
So as February threw up the last of her stars last night - I began the mental preperation for the 9 o'clock ticket rush. Today the V festival tickets went on sale vie telephonic and web channels. I knuckled down and got into position, fingers over the keyboard, at 8:50. Had a look around the site and found the page. I was on it when the logo skipped over from comming soon to - tickets available. Without pause I clicked.....
The screen refreshed. We will deal with your request in 1 minute ... refresh ... 2minutes ... refresh ... 3 minutes... It topped out at 15 minutes. I breathed a sigh of relief as the counter started to decrement. Heading back down to 5 ... 4 ... minutes ... 1 minute. Brilliant almost there, almost Foo'd up for the third year in a row.
Alas as with all things I dreamt too soon. The festival tickets sold out within 20 minutes of going on sale. This does not mean that I will not be seeing them. It simply means that I will be paying some bastard tout a large sum of money to see the greatest pure rock band out there at the moment.
Bring on the summer!!!!!
The screen refreshed. We will deal with your request in 1 minute ... refresh ... 2minutes ... refresh ... 3 minutes... It topped out at 15 minutes. I breathed a sigh of relief as the counter started to decrement. Heading back down to 5 ... 4 ... minutes ... 1 minute. Brilliant almost there, almost Foo'd up for the third year in a row.
Alas as with all things I dreamt too soon. The festival tickets sold out within 20 minutes of going on sale. This does not mean that I will not be seeing them. It simply means that I will be paying some bastard tout a large sum of money to see the greatest pure rock band out there at the moment.
Bring on the summer!!!!!
Friday, February 23, 2007
The Chinese Have finally taken it too far!!!
So having grown up in a very race conscious society I have always taken the adds on South African TV where the chinese tourist trys to get his photo taken with a lion in Kruger with a pinch of salt. No more! The link below will take you to the BBC website where you will see just how far the Chinese population are willing to go for that "special" wild life experience....
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6390005.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6390005.stm
Monday, February 05, 2007
Watangi Day
So many years ago a bunch of Europeans found two little islands due East of Australia. Rather than send the already feral convicts of Australia to this new haven a non criminal element was selected to go and bring the white religion to the islands.
Any how some kind of white native treaty celebrates some amount of years since signing tomorrow, Tuesday 06 February. In celebration of this the masses of Kiwis that have made London there temporary to permanent homes at the moment descended on mass to the circle line underground trains. The celebration took the form of a pub crawl, one which took advantage of the circuitous train line to bring the crowds of islanders to each of the stops on her line in search of establishments were beer could be purchased. The celebration is christened every year at 4pm on parliament square, where a Hakka is performed outside the houses of parliament. Drunk Kiwis are joined in this celebration by their friends and the odd Australian - normally uninvited due to their poor history of behaviour around booze and natives.
So as I am sharing a house with a proud Kiwi - I sercummed and headed out to make Westminster tube stop for 4 to see the Hakka. The originally stated intention was to see this tribal war dance performed and then cruise the two stops to Temple where we would hit the walkabout and watch England play, in retrospect this should apparently be replaced with the term trounce, Scotland. However the power of the Kiwi number and their personality kept me entertained enough to see the next 18 stops through to Paddington and miss the rugby match. A fair effort that I am quite rightly proud of.
I noted some interesting points about theses islanders as I have now met a few of them. I believe now more than ever that this is a land where not much happens out side of the world of fantasy. This is because a number of the Kiwwi's I met and questioned on their place of origin would say I am from the (north/south) island near (christchurch/Auckland/....), where they filmed (hobitton/mordor/...) or some other strange reference to the Lord of the Rings. Seriously I mean at least we as Anglo/African's can say things like I was born in London and first lived in a flat round the corner from Abbey Road studios - where the Beatles recorded their albums. Or I was born in Kimberly where they found the Kimberly diamond. All interesting facts that are grounded in reality. On top of this none of the people I talked to seem to even have a clue about the amount and quality of wild brown trout in the country streams and rivers.
Anyway I should stop this rant here and re-direct my efforts to the job that pays the bills
Have great weeks and keep checking this space for updates.
Any how some kind of white native treaty celebrates some amount of years since signing tomorrow, Tuesday 06 February. In celebration of this the masses of Kiwis that have made London there temporary to permanent homes at the moment descended on mass to the circle line underground trains. The celebration took the form of a pub crawl, one which took advantage of the circuitous train line to bring the crowds of islanders to each of the stops on her line in search of establishments were beer could be purchased. The celebration is christened every year at 4pm on parliament square, where a Hakka is performed outside the houses of parliament. Drunk Kiwis are joined in this celebration by their friends and the odd Australian - normally uninvited due to their poor history of behaviour around booze and natives.
So as I am sharing a house with a proud Kiwi - I sercummed and headed out to make Westminster tube stop for 4 to see the Hakka. The originally stated intention was to see this tribal war dance performed and then cruise the two stops to Temple where we would hit the walkabout and watch England play, in retrospect this should apparently be replaced with the term trounce, Scotland. However the power of the Kiwi number and their personality kept me entertained enough to see the next 18 stops through to Paddington and miss the rugby match. A fair effort that I am quite rightly proud of.
I noted some interesting points about theses islanders as I have now met a few of them. I believe now more than ever that this is a land where not much happens out side of the world of fantasy. This is because a number of the Kiwwi's I met and questioned on their place of origin would say I am from the (north/south) island near (christchurch/Auckland/....), where they filmed (hobitton/mordor/...) or some other strange reference to the Lord of the Rings. Seriously I mean at least we as Anglo/African's can say things like I was born in London and first lived in a flat round the corner from Abbey Road studios - where the Beatles recorded their albums. Or I was born in Kimberly where they found the Kimberly diamond. All interesting facts that are grounded in reality. On top of this none of the people I talked to seem to even have a clue about the amount and quality of wild brown trout in the country streams and rivers.
Anyway I should stop this rant here and re-direct my efforts to the job that pays the bills
Have great weeks and keep checking this space for updates.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Update
So I realise I have been really bad lately with the blog updates. Deal with it! The beginning of this year has proved to be interesting. After the relationship debacle that ended last year I now find myself in demand by a French girl. Some of you probably find that hard to believe - again deal with it!
Re affirmed the fact that I am not infallible in any walk of life. Another brilliantly obvious discovery that once again qualifies my belief that this is all a big endurance ride and all we are required to do is hold on for dear life.
Anyway the start to my year has seen me spread my wings over two continents. I went off to Dallas Texas - which is in the continental United States but is often regarded as being its own country and not part of the US. Brilliant trip - lots of drinking. Good fun and I now can recommend a number of fine establishments to see and be seen at if you ever find yourself in that neck of the woods. Let me say to that I have it on good authority that Dallas is the second best place in the US for mammary glands (Shel). The first being the west coast, San Fransico - LA... This I get from my cousin Lyal, as I have not been yet but plans are a foot.
The next portion of January was taken up by birthdays, sisters and snowboarding in Switzerland. The birthday was an interesting one - was surrounded by all the people I hold near and dear here in the UK. Those few that missed it had been attended to on the Saturday at Ant's birthday party. I had forgotten what it was like to be out in a crowd of mates... So now as I dab the tear from my eye for "the boys", Shae, James, Shel, Roy and the rest of that crowd - I shall continue and talk of Switzerland.
My second snowboarding trip to date and I am now firmly "hooked" on the sport. Although I have learnt the perils of the snowboard and drag lift. I can seemingly get down a slope okay but god forbid I could get back up on one of those horrible drag lifts. They are all fine and dandy for those geriatric skiers but for the new, hip and trendy snowboarder.... Many I trip to the top of the piste saw your faithful blogger ( me dumb asses) ascending on his stomach while in front and behind me clutches of five year olds on skies effortless made their way to the top on the same lift systems. Embarrassing to say the least!
The snow in Switzerland was less than impressive. So on one of the dreary days I was off to Levy Le Bain. A set of hot springs and relaxation center about 30kms from the resort. Here I discovered ice swimming. Crazy bastards jump out of saunas and into freezing water and then back into the sauna. Repeat until your chop falls off and then run around telling everyone you have never felt so alive.... Me I jumped in once got the hell out and stayed the hell out. My whole body felt like it had some serious pins and needles and that was about that.
Returning to the UK after that - I am faced by another year here. Where last year was the year I found my feet I expect this year to be the year for me to enjoy my new found balance. Aware that I will almost certainly find that, with friends moving off into their own lives, at the end of this year there will certainly be less footholds to use. With this in mind I am out and about this year expanding the circle of trust. Constantly trimming and weeding the acquaintance garden. A nessecary chore as while bridges should never be burnt - sometimes you have to cut away the dead weight to ensure your own continued growth and sanity.
I am beginning to believe that my generosity of spirit - or at least the levels of this generosity may be an issue. Not that being generous is a character flaw but more that I perhaps take it too far and that I do it to substitute for things that I feel I am missing rather than going out and filling the voids properly. I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone - especially you Jason! I guess that as I have gotten through the January event updates I am now just putting my mindset out onto the web. A virtual rendition of the usual breeze shooting that would take place if I were addressing you all in person.
As always correspondence from Africa is less than satisfactory. Some of us are stuck out here in the European bush waiting for word from friends and family that comes less regularly than rain in the Namib. But that which is recieved is always appreciated and I hope replied to. Perhaps the email exchange is on African time and adopts the same efficiency standards and I will soon find myself swamped in a gmail box by postdated correspondences from you all.
Anyway I have almost run out of hot air for this session. May you find this entry in high spirits. There is a little double entendre there for any of you willing to pull it out. Keep on keeping on sooner or later we will all find what we are looking for. So keep your eyes open so you recognise it. Take the risks make the mistakes and keep growing.
Buubus
Blogging it up
Re affirmed the fact that I am not infallible in any walk of life. Another brilliantly obvious discovery that once again qualifies my belief that this is all a big endurance ride and all we are required to do is hold on for dear life.
Anyway the start to my year has seen me spread my wings over two continents. I went off to Dallas Texas - which is in the continental United States but is often regarded as being its own country and not part of the US. Brilliant trip - lots of drinking. Good fun and I now can recommend a number of fine establishments to see and be seen at if you ever find yourself in that neck of the woods. Let me say to that I have it on good authority that Dallas is the second best place in the US for mammary glands (Shel). The first being the west coast, San Fransico - LA... This I get from my cousin Lyal, as I have not been yet but plans are a foot.
The next portion of January was taken up by birthdays, sisters and snowboarding in Switzerland. The birthday was an interesting one - was surrounded by all the people I hold near and dear here in the UK. Those few that missed it had been attended to on the Saturday at Ant's birthday party. I had forgotten what it was like to be out in a crowd of mates... So now as I dab the tear from my eye for "the boys", Shae, James, Shel, Roy and the rest of that crowd - I shall continue and talk of Switzerland.
My second snowboarding trip to date and I am now firmly "hooked" on the sport. Although I have learnt the perils of the snowboard and drag lift. I can seemingly get down a slope okay but god forbid I could get back up on one of those horrible drag lifts. They are all fine and dandy for those geriatric skiers but for the new, hip and trendy snowboarder.... Many I trip to the top of the piste saw your faithful blogger ( me dumb asses) ascending on his stomach while in front and behind me clutches of five year olds on skies effortless made their way to the top on the same lift systems. Embarrassing to say the least!
The snow in Switzerland was less than impressive. So on one of the dreary days I was off to Levy Le Bain. A set of hot springs and relaxation center about 30kms from the resort. Here I discovered ice swimming. Crazy bastards jump out of saunas and into freezing water and then back into the sauna. Repeat until your chop falls off and then run around telling everyone you have never felt so alive.... Me I jumped in once got the hell out and stayed the hell out. My whole body felt like it had some serious pins and needles and that was about that.
Returning to the UK after that - I am faced by another year here. Where last year was the year I found my feet I expect this year to be the year for me to enjoy my new found balance. Aware that I will almost certainly find that, with friends moving off into their own lives, at the end of this year there will certainly be less footholds to use. With this in mind I am out and about this year expanding the circle of trust. Constantly trimming and weeding the acquaintance garden. A nessecary chore as while bridges should never be burnt - sometimes you have to cut away the dead weight to ensure your own continued growth and sanity.
I am beginning to believe that my generosity of spirit - or at least the levels of this generosity may be an issue. Not that being generous is a character flaw but more that I perhaps take it too far and that I do it to substitute for things that I feel I am missing rather than going out and filling the voids properly. I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone - especially you Jason! I guess that as I have gotten through the January event updates I am now just putting my mindset out onto the web. A virtual rendition of the usual breeze shooting that would take place if I were addressing you all in person.
As always correspondence from Africa is less than satisfactory. Some of us are stuck out here in the European bush waiting for word from friends and family that comes less regularly than rain in the Namib. But that which is recieved is always appreciated and I hope replied to. Perhaps the email exchange is on African time and adopts the same efficiency standards and I will soon find myself swamped in a gmail box by postdated correspondences from you all.
Anyway I have almost run out of hot air for this session. May you find this entry in high spirits. There is a little double entendre there for any of you willing to pull it out. Keep on keeping on sooner or later we will all find what we are looking for. So keep your eyes open so you recognise it. Take the risks make the mistakes and keep growing.
Buubus
Blogging it up
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
2007 A beginning ....
So a new year has pounced on us again. Once again I was - due to the vast quantities of alcohol consumed in the last throws of '06 - close to brain dead for the dongs. I spent the hand over under Liecester Square in the Buzz Bar. This year I will try for something a little bit more exotic God willing.
So it should be quite a big year for me. A lot of change is needed. I have to sort out my career, education and dating issues. Which means new job, woman, course in some sort of order - as of yet decided. At least this time I think I know what I am looking for in all three areas.
Seeing things a little more clearly due to the lessons of last year and hopeful that I have finally learned and relearned that no one is going to help me do what I want to do and get where I am wanting to go. I know what you are thinking - I should know this already. Well like I said relearn... Sometimes you need to be reminded of obvious things.
Anyway I am off to Dallas again in a few days - got a weekend there and come back to London around 11 on Wednesday - two days of work and then that is it for work in my 27th year. Yip 13 days and I get that little bit closer to the big 3 o. The next day I hit the Swiss slopes with my sis for a little under a week. Should be great fun unless I, in my old and in firmed state, fall to hard and do myself a snow injury!
So a big year ahead for me a lot of travel a lot of getting my shit in order and a lot of dating, God willing... Hope all you out there who use this to keep up on my goings on - all three of you - are having equally productive starts to this annum and more so hope to hear from you soon and with surprising regularity. Looking forward to some visits from the boys this year - some massive parties with some good London mates and a great summer holiday off the coast of Croatia, sailing.
Happy new year everybody
Keep it real and remember .....
I forget
IATB
So it should be quite a big year for me. A lot of change is needed. I have to sort out my career, education and dating issues. Which means new job, woman, course in some sort of order - as of yet decided. At least this time I think I know what I am looking for in all three areas.
Seeing things a little more clearly due to the lessons of last year and hopeful that I have finally learned and relearned that no one is going to help me do what I want to do and get where I am wanting to go. I know what you are thinking - I should know this already. Well like I said relearn... Sometimes you need to be reminded of obvious things.
Anyway I am off to Dallas again in a few days - got a weekend there and come back to London around 11 on Wednesday - two days of work and then that is it for work in my 27th year. Yip 13 days and I get that little bit closer to the big 3 o. The next day I hit the Swiss slopes with my sis for a little under a week. Should be great fun unless I, in my old and in firmed state, fall to hard and do myself a snow injury!
So a big year ahead for me a lot of travel a lot of getting my shit in order and a lot of dating, God willing... Hope all you out there who use this to keep up on my goings on - all three of you - are having equally productive starts to this annum and more so hope to hear from you soon and with surprising regularity. Looking forward to some visits from the boys this year - some massive parties with some good London mates and a great summer holiday off the coast of Croatia, sailing.
Happy new year everybody
Keep it real and remember .....
I forget
IATB
Monday, December 18, 2006
Seemingly harsh realities fade away under a closer light ( read in entirity or not at all)
So I wasn't doing so good this morning. Pure fact - felt a little down - took some strain. I just deleted the page or so of soppy mumblings. No reason to post it - I figured some stuff out from my morning funk:
Cold grey and wet Mondays blow goats! They are like horny Argentinian goat hurders left alone on cold, craggy grey mountains.
RATM has a very powerful positive effect on me. And that days that see the return of old friend's are ones that should be marked with positive bright colours in all memories. Rowan welcome back!!! Man the party has returned to London and there is now some serious catch up to be done.
Break out the smiles and lets see if we can make those clocks run through the hours like we used to?
Cold grey and wet Mondays blow goats! They are like horny Argentinian goat hurders left alone on cold, craggy grey mountains.
RATM has a very powerful positive effect on me. And that days that see the return of old friend's are ones that should be marked with positive bright colours in all memories. Rowan welcome back!!! Man the party has returned to London and there is now some serious catch up to be done.
Break out the smiles and lets see if we can make those clocks run through the hours like we used to?
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Another lonely Tango
So today's entry will hopefully be cathartic. Brutal honesty will command my keystrokes and form the spinal column of this chapter. There will be no pictures, no flowery language - just me and this little public viewing of my inner workings this morning.
Last night I opened myself up again... I dropped all pretence and took the risk. If I am really honest about it I think I knew what I was going to hear - I just needed to hear it. So it appears that once again I believed, wrongly so, that my heart was dancing a tango. The rhythms of its new mechanics were not mirrored by the intended partner. I said brutal honesty and I meant it. With this in mind I must say that I am not sure if it is because of the clouding of the memory of the previous encounters, or if it is just a side effect of the drug binges they induced in attempt to stop feeling, but I do not remember the cut being this deep.
My cousin, Lyal told me the first time this happened that it was a necessary part of growing up. He said that it made us build up walls and that the next time the person you let in will be that much more special for having breached them. I think that he may be right. But what do you do when you let someone in and they don't want to come in? Especially after the walls go down.
Enough harping on about what I have allowed to happen to me again. It is after all my own fault and could have been avoided or at least minimised by addressing it earlier or by not having hidden away from the repercussions of the previous attempts . This last statement should probably be expanded on - in keeping with the brutal honesty theme and to aid in identifying the lessons I so obviously need to learn.
My good aussie mate Justin once burdened me with the wisdom of not letting things like this lie. The added time, he said, only serves to prolong the fantasy, which is exactly what unrequited love must surely be. I knew then and know even more so now that this is true. I guess the first lesson is that when you think you have found someone special that you must, for yourself and for them, tell them. Wasting time and playing it safe only serve to prolong this very dangerous fantasy.
Secondly I have realised, and this is truly a big positive, that my previous coping mechanisms have, if anything been detrimental rather than helpful. Previously I dived head first into a crazy binge on anything that would aid in killing off any and all emotional and higher brain activity. I know that this drunken, drugged approach to problem solving has left me underdeveloped in matters of the heart and relationships. It was easy but then the right path is never the easy one. This time I will do my best to deal with this head on, no hiding away, cowering in dark corners fuelled by booze and amphetamine.
So that is that - ill advised or not this is going up on-line for all of you out there who read this to keep up with me and the goings on in my life. This is where I am at - totally honest. Walls down - on their way back up. Hopefully this time they will be a little bit more effective.
To the fantasy tango partner I will say. Thank you - it was indeed a most pleasant fiction while it lasted even if it was only a monologue. I am lucky to have met you and will hopefully find some way of managing the repercussions of my mistake with dignity. Your honesty is appreciated.
To my friends: My mom told me after Annabelle that I was lucky to have such good friends and that they would help. She was right - You are all a little further away this time but I hope you are still there. If not I will allow that fiction to live on a little longer as it comforts me to believe it is true.
To my family: Thank you for being there for me always. Especially the last couple of lost years.
Enough emotion - I have already bitten a solid half hour out of my working day. Please know that although I am feeling beaten at the moment I am okay and will finally be facing this soberly, like a man as I should of in the beginning.
Thank you all for listening and now to the mundane tasks of another working day at rightnow technologies.
Last night I opened myself up again... I dropped all pretence and took the risk. If I am really honest about it I think I knew what I was going to hear - I just needed to hear it. So it appears that once again I believed, wrongly so, that my heart was dancing a tango. The rhythms of its new mechanics were not mirrored by the intended partner. I said brutal honesty and I meant it. With this in mind I must say that I am not sure if it is because of the clouding of the memory of the previous encounters, or if it is just a side effect of the drug binges they induced in attempt to stop feeling, but I do not remember the cut being this deep.
My cousin, Lyal told me the first time this happened that it was a necessary part of growing up. He said that it made us build up walls and that the next time the person you let in will be that much more special for having breached them. I think that he may be right. But what do you do when you let someone in and they don't want to come in? Especially after the walls go down.
Enough harping on about what I have allowed to happen to me again. It is after all my own fault and could have been avoided or at least minimised by addressing it earlier or by not having hidden away from the repercussions of the previous attempts . This last statement should probably be expanded on - in keeping with the brutal honesty theme and to aid in identifying the lessons I so obviously need to learn.
My good aussie mate Justin once burdened me with the wisdom of not letting things like this lie. The added time, he said, only serves to prolong the fantasy, which is exactly what unrequited love must surely be. I knew then and know even more so now that this is true. I guess the first lesson is that when you think you have found someone special that you must, for yourself and for them, tell them. Wasting time and playing it safe only serve to prolong this very dangerous fantasy.
Secondly I have realised, and this is truly a big positive, that my previous coping mechanisms have, if anything been detrimental rather than helpful. Previously I dived head first into a crazy binge on anything that would aid in killing off any and all emotional and higher brain activity. I know that this drunken, drugged approach to problem solving has left me underdeveloped in matters of the heart and relationships. It was easy but then the right path is never the easy one. This time I will do my best to deal with this head on, no hiding away, cowering in dark corners fuelled by booze and amphetamine.
So that is that - ill advised or not this is going up on-line for all of you out there who read this to keep up with me and the goings on in my life. This is where I am at - totally honest. Walls down - on their way back up. Hopefully this time they will be a little bit more effective.
To the fantasy tango partner I will say. Thank you - it was indeed a most pleasant fiction while it lasted even if it was only a monologue. I am lucky to have met you and will hopefully find some way of managing the repercussions of my mistake with dignity. Your honesty is appreciated.
To my friends: My mom told me after Annabelle that I was lucky to have such good friends and that they would help. She was right - You are all a little further away this time but I hope you are still there. If not I will allow that fiction to live on a little longer as it comforts me to believe it is true.
To my family: Thank you for being there for me always. Especially the last couple of lost years.
Enough emotion - I have already bitten a solid half hour out of my working day. Please know that although I am feeling beaten at the moment I am okay and will finally be facing this soberly, like a man as I should of in the beginning.
Thank you all for listening and now to the mundane tasks of another working day at rightnow technologies.
Monday, December 11, 2006
The Pre Game Face Curse
The pre-game face! We've all seen it before, given this one is a little disturbing given the situation.Mat those eyes mate.... I hope that, that is only the beer and not ..... Somethings are best left unsaid.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Monkey arm
Who fed that animal beer? Hey if you can't take the piss out of yourself then who can you take the piss out of?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
The Chick-slayer
This one is for all those of us out there who were around London and more specifically Ealing for the front end of 2006. We now find ourselves battling against the last days of what has been another year of growth, at least for me - and hopefully for all of you. I am sure there are those geriatric grannies out there who might have started shrinking, or continued to this year, out there.
What you see in this shot is the now famous Ealing "Chick Slayer" created owned and best performed by this very subject. Lynton never forget the shoulder charge that did you so proud on the dance floors and in the heart's of Ealing's female populace. Loving the commitment big guy and we may have to have words about the bird in the yellow there.
Hard, Fast Times in Ealing
Sometimes life just gives you lemons. I say make lemonade and respect the short skirts of this world
Monday, December 04, 2006
Girls, girls, girls
My housemates!!!! Although it is winter now - the cold wind blows a little warmer this year in my kneck of the woods.
Winter days and cold doors
Just in case any of you down there in deepest darkest were under the impression that I am having all the fun let me remind you that it is winter here. This weekend played host to a dramatic drop in temperature. In response we held a party - a night at school disco and a 4-course Sunday lunch for about 15 people at my place.Enjoy the sun, but remember that only people and hard drink can warm you from the inside.
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